Jealousy and Sibling Rivalry: Newborn Edition

Preparing your young child for the arrival of a new sibling can help create a positive attitude and response.

Bringing Home a New Baby

Welcoming a new baby into your home is an exciting time, but it can also bring a mix of emotions—joy, love, nervousness, and sometimes exhaustion. Older siblings may feel a wide range of emotions, too, including curiosity, confusion, jealousy, or even insecurity. The attention that family and friends used to give them now has to be shared with the new baby, which can make them feel left out.

Your older child may respond in unexpected ways, such as:

• Being extra protective of the baby or seeming uninterested in them.
• Hurting the baby.
• Acting more clingy, becoming upset easily, or appearing withdrawn.

You might also notice behaviours that reflect how they’re feeling, like:

• Thumb-sucking or increased whining.
• Accidents, even if they’re toilet trained.
• Acting like the baby, such as wearing diapers or being fed like the baby.

How You Can Help

Your child might feel like they’re losing attention or being replaced by the new baby. These ideas might help ease the transition:

• Stick to Routines: Keeping your older child’s daily schedule as normal as possible can provide a sense of stability during this time of change.
• Spend One-on-One Time Together: Setting aside moments to focus just on them—like reading a book, going for a walk, or playing a game—can reassure them that they’re still a priority.
• Be Patient: If they regress or act out, it may be a sign of anxiety or stress. Offering comfort and support can go a long way in helping them feel secure.
• Acknowledge Their Feelings: If they express negative emotions about the baby, try to validate their feelings. For example, you might say, “It’s okay to feel this way—it can be hard having a new baby in the house.” Avoid phrases like, “You’re older, so you should know better,” which might add to their stress.

Involve Them in Baby Care

Inviting your older child to participate in caring for the baby can help them feel included and valued. You could:

• Teach gentle touches: Show them how to rub the baby’s back softly and explain how it soothes the baby. Acknowledge their efforts with praise.
• Encourage small tasks: Invite them to help by bringing a diaper, picking out baby clothes, or choosing a toy for the baby. Celebrate their involvement but let them decide how much they want to help without pressure or criticism.

Take Care of Yourself

Adjusting to a new family dynamic can be challenging for parents too. Taking care of your own well-being can help you stay patient and balanced:

• Rest whenever possible.
• Make time for activities that help you recharge, like a walk, a relaxing bath, or connecting with friends.
• Don’t hesitate to ask for support from your partner, family, or friends if you’re feeling overwhelmed.

This Phase Will Pass

With time, patience, and support, your older child will adapt to the changes and find their place in the family.

Books to Share With Your Child

Reading together can help your older child understand their new role as a sibling. Consider these books, which explore themes like love, jealousy, and family changes. Visit the Newfoundland and Labrador Public Libraries catalogue to search for books.

These stories offer reassurance and can spark meaningful conversations about how they’re feeling. Reading together can also be a comforting way to bond during this big change.